We have a few more answers than we had before, not major life changing ones, but hugs from God that tell me he’s still here, he still cares, and he is in the middle of working on whatever he has next for us to do. One example, about two weeks ago Maddie went to dance class with both jazz shoes and came home with one jazz shoe. We got a email today from a friend asking us if we were still missing one and that she thinks they have it! Awesome! This may seem minor to some, but this tells me that if God cares for little things like lost jazz shoes, he also cares about the big things like moving, jobs, sickness, and our hearts desires.
We have been in a tough place, the place of waiting. I know I have written on this quite a bit lately, but it’s because we have done quite a bit of waiting for a while. The painful kind of waiting, the kind where you can feel the earth quaking and shaking, you know God is moving and that he is going to bring forth his plan, but as you may very well know, God works on his time tale and not mine. Some time’s God’s time table to me looks like I am going to be late on rent, scrape the cupboards for meals in between pay checks, feel stressed about where we are moving to and needing answers that don’t seem to come. I have to admit I have definitely had tantrums in the waiting as my flesh is freaking out at what feels uncomfortable, unsafe, and especially when we are still in the middle of the dark tunnel and not even a glimmer of light has appeared. Then today, we learn Maddie’s jazz shoe has returned, a glimmer, a light in the darkness. We are not through the tunnel, we are not even to the edge of the opening on the other side or at least I don’t think we are, but it’s hard to say when you are sitting at the back of the train with God driving.
In the waiting process I had begun to loose hope, I didn’t even know what to pray, and in all honesty I didn’t really want to pray. What I wanted to do was give God the finger and say well fine, I’ll do it my stink’in self then if you’re not gonna do anything. But, even as I got to the end of this thought, my spirit knew that would never do, my spirit knew that would be a place of death. My spirit reminded my unwilling flesh how many times God has fed us when we were hungry both for his word and for physical food. The Holy Spirit ministered to me gently, reminding me of the many times I have been in the pit of depression, and the many times God has come and lifted me with the greatest of care to tell me of his love for me. I was reminded of the many times God has taken me from the pit and placed me not only out of the pit and onto solid ground, but has even blessed me abundantly. I was gently reminded of family and friends God has put around me and to go to them so they can help me remember the goodness of God.
My prayer is that God would show himself real to my kiddo’s even at an early age, that even now they would begin to see the goodness of God. That they will see and remember and be able to stand fast when life walks them into a dark tunnel, that they will remember it’s when we walk through the dark tunnels that we walk closest to the Lord. It’s the dark tunne’s of life when he is able to do the most in us and through us. I pray my kiddo’s will learn that when they put their trust in Abba he will make their path straight, he will be their rock and their portion, there ever present help! I pray that the Lord will bring friends and mentors in their lives that will encourage them along their journey, remind them of His goodness and of the faithfulness of God and the love he has for them.
We’re still walking in the tunnel, but we’re not alone, and I am confident that God has a plan for us, even if it’s on a time table that makes no sense to me. Taking one day at a time, waiting and watching for the moment God has go, and we will go! Time and experiance has taught us He is faithful, He blesses abundantly, and He loves us so very much!