This winter I found myself cleaning, purging our house of things we no longer wanted or needed. We spent hours doing school because it was simply too cold to do anything else. We finished “official” sit down work in early March which is two months ahead of schedule. We cleaned, we read, we cleaned and read some more. All winter I kept hearing the Lord say, “be patient, slow down now, because I have something for you later”. This was the theme all winter long and thank goodness or I might have gone insane with the craziness of cabin fever.
True to his promise to me, when Spring began to show itself God started working on me again. It was not only the birds and the rabbits who were waking up, God was preparing me to wake up and go deeper with Him. It’s easy for me to grumble and complain when I don’t like something I’m faced with or it something that continues on for an extended period of time that is uncomfortable, tiring, and requires me to be selfless for a longer period of time than I had planned. Learning the art of eternal flexibility, being able to see something that happens unexpectedly as a divine appointment from the Lord. Being able to switch from Martha mode to Mary mode in a moments notice is not something I do well, but it is something the Lord decided was time to work on. You will often find me talking to myself and repeating over and over “I am flexible, I am flexible, I am flexible” and then it will change to “be Mary, be Mary, be Mary, things will get done, things will get done”. Along with this I am learning when to say yes, when to say no for the sake of my family. Learning to think of my family first before making a decision is a hard concept to me, because I want to help out whenever and where ever I can, but for the health and the well functioning of my family I need to approach situations with prayer and consideration.
It is way too easy to begin to grow restless while waiting for the Lord’s timing, I want to be about the Lord’s business, and I am certain I must have God’s great idea in mind. Which instead of it being a great idea, it turns into me coming up with own timing, and it usually does not go well for me. I found this to be true with this last winter, after so many days of being blizzard and frozen in it becomes very easy to begin grumbling and complaining, but thankfully I hunkered down beside my Abba and waited mostly patient (thankfully God has begun to teach my stubborn heart that it really is a good idea to heed his instruction to me).
God is continuing the healing in my life and my heart. I don’t know why I do it, but when I go to check my email, facebook messages, or receive a call from someone I automatically think that they are going to be mad at me, hate me, and in this mistake I think I made I shrink back because I’m sure I have hurt a relationship I have with someone. It does not dawn on me that perhaps what they are going to do or are doing is to bless me because they love me, they are giving me a love offering. I automatically think the worse of myself. I am beginning to recognize it for what it is…lies!!! It’s lies! It is another level of learning the amazing, new creation I am in Jesus. I have allowed myself to live in the untruths of myself that learning the amazing truth about myself is well…amazing! I am so thankful that the Lord allowed me the winter to rest my emotions, rest my body physically, I am so thankful I heard him say, “rest” and that I actually listened! I am thankful that like the four seasons of Minnesota, I too have seasons in which I need to rest to prepare for the up coming growing season.
There is more to be learned this spring and I am so excited that I will be able to share all that God is doing and has done in my life! To God be the glory for he is at work and He is the master gardener, he is the master healer, and when the healing comes joy and peace overflow! Winter is done and Spring is here!