God is doing so much in my life right now, he is healing me from within, and is getting ready to work through me. I am passionate about families, I am passionate about connecting with moms, I am passionate about our kid’s being emotionally healthy kid’s. The best way to have emotionally healthy kid’s is to have Mark and I be healthy emotional adults. The best way to have us be healthy emotional adults is to allow God our Father to be our Master Gardener. Allow him AND believe him when he tells me he loves me, cherishes me, and allow him to adopt me. To embrace my adoption not as one who has been rejected by another but by the Father lovingly reminding me, showing me how to coming back to himself. Recognizing that Satan has been lying to us since the fall in the Garden with Adam and Eve. God is continuing to prune me, walk me through my reactions to difference situations and circumstances. He is continuing to show me why I react negatively to people and situations. When I am honest with myself I see that I am placing someone or something in God’s place and when I do this I am inevitably telling God I do not need him and I can take care of myself, thank you. I don’t mean to have this attitude, I don’t mean to self protect in this way, but I have realized it is what ends up happening.
When I begin to react to something I have begun to stop, pray, and dissect all the feelings and reactions. I have found for example when I am struggling with something I like to blame someone, what I am really doing is trying to not take responsibility for my part in what is going on. If I can blame someone I feel better about the situation and I can down play it that it wasn’t that bad. I also tend to run to someone wanting them to fix it instead of going to my Abba first and asking him how he’d like me to go about fixing it. He may send someone with a word of encouragement, he may reveal something to me in his word, he may tell me of his love in prayer. There are so many different ways Abba can use to “fix” what is going on either in me or a situation I am facing. If I let him, he is faithful to bring exactly what I need, when I need it. I have only trust that he will!
Lately, I get the sense that God is asking me to move into leadership, to lead others, and I begin to wonder do I have what it takes. The answer I came to is no, I don’t have what it takes, but God does! He is living and active in me, because he is living and active in me, I can trust that he will work through me. I need to let him be the one that leads me to speak and leads me to be silent, trusting him when he prods Mark and I to invite someone over for supper. I need not worry or stress about what God is calling me to, he will equip me as we go, he will teach me, he will lead me. He is the Master Gardener who has turned a weed invested prodigal daughter into a living, breathing, full of life flower garden that I pray is inviting, peaceful, and joyful. I have learned that when I invite Abba in, when I truly let go of control, the weeds in my life do not get pulled, they get smothered out by all the life that is going in around me. There is so much life in the garden that weeds cannot live in this place. It is not weed pulling it is going to the Father and letting him love me and believing him!
Do I have what it takes, Yes! I have what it takes, because Abba living in me is the one who will be working through me! To Abba be all glory, honor, and power! He is alive and working in me and through me! Yes, I have what it takes!