How did the blog start?
Why do I share such personal insight into myself and my family? Well, that’s a great question. The answer is, I never intended to. The best way for me to process life is to journal. The blog started as a way to keep Mark’s family up to date on our family. When we found out we were pregnant with the twins it became a way to keep everyone updated on their development. After their birth at 33 weeks, they ended up in the NICU. So, it became a vital and easy way to keep friends and family updated on the needs of our family. When they were released from the hospital and we went home, the updates slowed down. But, my need to journal and process did not. In fact, I needed a place to sort out my emotions more than ever. My fingers had swelled up and it was painful to write with a pencil. So, not thinking anyone was visiting the blog I took to the keyboard. I processed my life out loud, on the world-wide-web.
The world-wide-web does that?
Back when I first started writing I had no idea of the scope of what I was doing. If you asked me then I would have told you I was just writing. I wasn’t blogging. It was just a space to write out what was going on in my head. I was an ignorant person who just thought the internet was for fun and games. After a few weeks of journaling on the blog, friends and family let me know how thankful they were for the things I had shared. They connected with our struggles and asked me to share what I wrote on Facebook because they wanted to continue reading what I wrote.
I was floored and I panicked! Again, back then I had no clue as to the extent of what the world-wide-web meant. This is hilarious to me now, because the title should have been an indicator. Lol
After a lot of discussion with Mark, prayer, and conversations with myself. Together, Mark and I decided if the blog allowed us to encourage someone to press in closer to Christ and if we could inspire someone else to gain courage through our struggles then it was worth it.
I still write for myself.
Honestly, the blog was never meant for anyone but for me. It still isn’t. I still go back and read certain blog posts, because they inspire me, show me how far I have come, and keep me humble to remind me I am in need of a savior. I just allow others an inside look into our craziness. There is no person on earth who is harder on me than me. Mark always tells me I need to lower my expectations of myself.
You don’t have to follow and read the blog.
As you read the blog, if you choose to do so, you do realize if you don’t agree with me, you can simply not read it, right?
I have been tempted to stop writing more than once. I have no desire to add to the turmoil in the world. I do, however, desire to be a place of encouragement. A place of real Christianity. We have lived in the pits of hell on earth. Jesus has met us there time and time again. He has not left our side. He has and continues to challenge the Christianity both Mark and I grew up in.
If our journey can shine a light into another’s hell and if we can give them a physical hand to rise closer to Christ, then I will continue to write.
“We don’t hide crazy, we put it on the porch and give it a cocktail.”
You may think what I share is crazy. That’s ok, I have been called crazy my whole life. I will be crazy today, tomorrow, and the next. But, I will also be kind and loving to the same people who call me crazy. Why? Because my life experiences won’t let me do anything else.
So, enjoy the blog. Enjoy all of my crazy ramblings. Enjoy my failures as well as my successes (whatever that means). Have confidence “that he who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it until Christ Jesus”. Have confidence that we are following the best protocols for Mark’s Lyme Disease. No, we are not torturing him (his body is doing a good job of that on its own). We have also done extensive research and tried numerous medications to get him to the semi-functioning state he is currently in.
So, I write. I write for me. I write because others have asked me to continue doing so. I write because it is one of the ways I am able to abide closer to Jesus.
In the spirit of the purpose of the blog:
May the Lord bless you and keep you, may his face shine upon you and give you his peace.