There have been people and situations in my life that I have said, “that’s it, I’m done, I”m dusting my feet and walking away.” There have been situations recently that have caused me to pause as I have wanted to say those exact words. I have come to the conclusion, that until I feel confident that I can stand in front of the throne of God with confidence. I cannot be done with certain relationshipss or circumstances.
What does this mean? I believe it means that I need to be on my knees, listening for guidance, watching for what God wants me to do in the relationship or circumstance before me. Does God want me to go ask forgiveness? Do I need to be reconciled with someone? We are commanded as Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” I believe that our unwillingness to forgive can and will affect your relationship with God. Matthew 5:24, ” leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.
There are times when I have told myself that I am at peace with a relation or circumstance and it was ok to be done with it. When in all honesty I haven’t seeked God or gotten his persmission to walk away. I give myself permission without seeking God, because I don’t want to deal with either the person or circumstance. I don’t want to own up to what I must do. I give myself excuses, for example I have a husband and three kids and it’s really easy to give myself an easy out there. To the outside world it seems legitamite to but my famly “first”, but I know better. I know that if God wants me to invest time in a relationship outside of my husband and kids he will provide the time, the money, and energy. “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 I have no excuse not to pursue something I know God is asking me to do.
So what does it boil down to…obediance. It requires me to look my responsibilty in the face and obey. I am to ask forgiveness were forgiveness is needed. I am to spend time with those I may not want to spend time with. I am to put forth effort into circumstances I may not want to give effort.
What is my reward? My reward is peace with God and peace with mankind (or at least an attempted peace with mankind). Peace with the God who has created all beings and has created me. My reward is standing with confidence on this earth knowing that when Jesus calls me home to heaven, I can stand before his throne with my head held high. I can stand before his throne with confidence that I will hear, “”His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.” Matthew 25:23
While I am on this earth I am going to sin, unintentionally and sometimes on purpose. But I can be rest assured because, “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6 It’s all part of the refining process!
I am a imperfect being, being made perfect by the author of perfection. One day the author of perfection will call me home, and I will be able to stand with confidence and hear the new perfect name God has for me.