One year ago today I had a two week old newborn little boy and I was also only a couple weeks away from starting Phase 2 of the Ultimate Journey. I was committed to continue straight through. I know myself all too well and I knew if I stopped there was a good chance I would not go back. I had already done the hard work of Phase One and I owed it to myself, my marriage, and my family to keep going.
During Phase One I had committed to myself I was no longer going to be afraid. I was going to try new projects and do it with the confidence of knowing Christ in me will work through me. Oh my goodness! I had no idea what I said, when I chose to leap not only out of my comfort zone, but also walk away from the closet I had hidden my true self away in. I was completely visible, my mistakes and embarrassments would have to be felt, cried through, and acknowledge. No longer could I shove it down and ignore the pain. I would need to laugh at myself, acknowledge weaknesses, and be willing to learn. Uff da! I didn’t know if I was ready, but I wanted to be. I needed to be!
Donna Hup, my sweet, dear friend and mentor came into my life during through the Ultimate Journey. We became good friends through the course of the Journey and around the same time I committed to trying new things she asked me if I would be willing to be a product reviewer for her blog donnahup.com. I had no idea if I would like it or be good at it, but I was willing to try. Low and behold I not only liked it, I loved it! I had been given a gift that had awaken a person inside of me I did not even know existed.
I continued to write for Donna, but I had the mindset that my own blog would have to be put on the back burner until our kids were older. I began to pray for what blogging was to look like in my life and in the life of my family. In August I went to the Global Leadership Summit, hosted via satellite at our church. If you ever have the opportunity to go to these summits, go! They are AMAZING! I learned so many tools to become a better leader, a better human being, and a more compassionate child of God. I had no idea at the GLS that I was learning tools I would need throughout the year.
Fast forward four or five months and I have become my husbands business partner. This is hilarious, too. I had been praying for a mentor/partner to come into Mark’s life. Someone who could help sharpen him, refine him, encourage him to be the man of God that I know he is. Some one who saw the same artistic, detailed, amazing man that I saw. Little did I know I was the mentor/partner I had been praying for. Little did I know what life would look like a year later. It looks wonderfully, awesomely, fantastically different!
The different is often, sometimes scary as we chart waters I’m not sure we can sail. But, I am confident that God knows every inch of the terrain. We do not sail these new waters alone and when the seas of life become to great, he is faithful to bring alongside a beach. We soak up the confidence of who we are in him, we breathe in his peace and clarity, we breathe out our confusion and frustration.
A year ago I was still invisible, hurting, and unsure of how to allow myself to be seen. A year ago I was terrified of trying new things. We are excited at the direction we are going. God is going before us, he is walking behind us. The God of angel armies is always by our side! We walk confidently forward, when we stumble, our Heavenly Father lovingly picks us up. He reminds us that when we doubt, when we fail, when we look our ugliness is when he wants us to come home the most. It’s when I need to go home and remember I am His!
I am thrilled beyond measure to think about where we will be in a year from now. The new business clients and relationships we will have built. The experiences our family will be able to have and all that the Lord will do in and through us this next year. I am thankful that God loves me enough to not leave me where I am and he desires to move and work in my heart and in my life. It truly is amazing the difference a year can make.