I wrote this a while ago, but I haven’t shared it with my readers yet. I wanted these precious truths to truly fill every place in my soul. I wanted the truths to take root in my flesh. Allowing my flesh to rejoice in not needing to understand where I am going or know what lies beyond where I am now. I am learning the value of resting and coming to a place where I can truly stand still. It is in the stillness Abba whispers and tells me which way to turn, when to speak and when to be silent, when to walk and when to sit. Not acting as a puppet, but acting as I would when I ride horses. There is incredible joy in a horse and rider understanding one another. Neither one telling or asking, but simply understanding their individual roles to enjoy fully the task before them. It is in these moments neither rider or teacher are training or directing, they become one. God did not design me to function as a puppet. God knows it is not love to make someone or something do something. It’s love when they choose to listen, talk, walk, and do life with him. He asks, he doesn’t command or dictate, but he does invite. My rebellious heart has surrendered, my wandering, nomad self has found the one my heart has been looking for. I am at rest and at peace on earth and in heaven. Most days I am still walking in the dark, but I do not feel afraid!
I’m walking in the dark,
but I do not feel afraid.
When there should be fear,
there’s peace.
When there should be confusion,
I’m trusting you for clarity.
When I’m weak,
I know you’ll be strong.
Because you are enough,
I will always be enough!
I’m walking in the dark,
Yet I am not afraid.
I stand still waiting for your voice.
Speak, rest, walk, talk,
turning my attentive ear.
I’m walking in the dark,
but I am not afraid.
I am learning to listen,
more than I speak.
I no longer need an answer,
I need to understand.
I’m walking in the dark,
but I am not afraid.
Earth no longer shackles me,
darkness has become light.
While I cannot see,
My soul flies free,
My spirit sees and hears.
All that my Adoni asks,
I will do.
Even though my physical eyes cannot see,
While my flesh freaks out,
When I wonder if I’m enough,
When earthly rejection is more
than I can bear, and
I feel I’ve lost my way.
Adoni will always find me,
Abba runs to me with joy,
Jehova Jireh is my provider.
There is light in the darkness.