What is “Me, Not Them”? It is when I pursue my passions, goals, and continue my own learning journey. It is when I allow myself to simmer rather than putting myself on the back burner.
When we first began our tje journey I laughed out loud when I read it was important for me to continue pursuing my own learning journey. I literally thought they were off their rockers. How in the world was I suppose to pursue my own learning journey when I was trying to be a wife, homeschool mom, and keep our house in joyful and peaceful working order. Then I began to think about all that I wanted to continue learning, exploring, and experiencing. It was as if someone gave me permission to continue being a human. I felt like I was given a gift and I cherished it. Then I cried, because I was sure it was impossible and I needed to go back to putting myself on the back burner. My tears was my heart crying out and not wanting to go back to putting myself last.
I began praying and asking the Holy Spirit for wisdom in how to pursue my own dreams and passions in the midst of taking care of a family. I knew it was important to begin praying he would give Mark a similar desire.We become willing to sacrifice time, energy, and money to make something happen. when Mark and I have the same vision, passion, and desire. Through various side comments I knew Mark was itching to also come through the kid fog. He, too, needed to begin to pursue his individual interests and goals.
“Me, not them” allows our kids to see us working hard, making mistakes, and watching what it takes to succeed. It allows them to watch us enter a core phase as we work through making a logo for our Brand, making business policies, setting goals for the future, and watching our daily interaction with clients. It allows them to watch us work through emotions that being willing to go outside of our comfort zone often creates. When we pursue our own learning, we give our kids the gift and freedom of being free from living in our shadows.
My “Me, not them” includes freelance writing and becoming the Social Media Manager for our business, continuing to create culinary inventions in the kitchen, and running. Mark’s “Me, not them” looks like getting outside to shoot photography, painting, building with legos, and continued education to stay on top of new web programs, social media platforms, and code building.
Bringing Thomas Jefferson Education into our daily lives has helped build a learning all day long mentality. Academics are something we pursue throughout the day. I want to create a love of learning throughout the whole day. I didn’t want our kids through habit think that learning only happened at a certain time of the day. Feeding their curiosity and questions and teaching them how to find the answers to their questions.
I thought I would need separate time to write and work apart from the kids structured learning time. What I learned was that it worked well for me to work while they had their structured learning time. They saw me doing “homework”, writing emails and calling clients, they saw me putting into action what they were practicing. Their sit down work began to have practical application and they realized their sit down work allowed them to do real life faster. They have begun to see value to their work. Any time someone sees value in anything they will try harder, perseverance is embraced, and their endurance produces educational, relational, and life fruit.
I honestly think Mark and my “me, not them” is the most important part of our kids education. Through my “me, not them” I do self evaluations. Owning the fact that there are times I am not doing what my kids need. I’m doing what I need, and I need to figure out how to compliment and compromise the two. My kids are beautiful individuals God has created and has given them different learning styles, dreams, and eyes that see the world different than I do. I need to honor the beautiful creation God has created them to be. “Me, not them” allows me to process through these questions and calls me on the carpet when I need to change.
When I give myself the gift of going through Core Phase, dapple in Love of Learning, and enter scholar phase it is a gift to our whole family.
Do you have a “me, not them”? What does it look like?
Awesome! I’m so happy to hear you’re coming together with Mark and re-evaluating priorities. It’s a process that never ends and you need to keep building-measuring-and learning your whole life. It’s a bit exhausting, but life is found in the process, in the mess, not in the end result. Hugs! Becca