Learning to Laugh at Myself

I have always been a serious person. To add to the seriousness I struggled with insecurity like so many others do. I took myself and life far too seriously. I have had friends who have been care free and fancy free. Their care free go with the flow ability irritated me and sparked jealousy in me all at one time. I wanted to jump out of my comfort zone,  jump out of the safe box I had put myself in, but I couldn’t risk looking like a fool. I had plenty of opportunities to look like a fool all on my own. The only thing looking like a fool had done was affirm the guilt and shame I already viewed about myself. Over the last year while going through the Ultimate Journey I looked the shame and the guilt in the face and told it to sit down and shut up!

Shrugging off shame and guilt is one of the most freeing things I have ever done in my life. I have become confident, I have begun to laugh at my mistakes, and continue to hold my head up after mistakes. Becky Casey, my boss at Camp Redcloud, would laugh at me when I made a mistake. She would laugh and say, “you lived through it, it’s a miracle”! She was always challenging me and I was rarely up for the challenge. The taste of defeat was too bitter on my pride.

Not taking myself, life, or work too seriously frees me up and I want to tell you why!

1. I am free to talk to those around me I would not normally have confidence to approach. I am relaxed and at ease allowing conversation to flow naturally.
2. I am able to confidently able to leap outside of my comfort zone knowing it is the place I will learn the most and be rewarded the most.
3. You will frequently find me looking outside of the box for solutions, ideas, and beauty.
4. Guilt and shame no longer control my thinking, instead I see what wold normally have triggered those emotions as opportunities for me to learn, grow, and for God to do amazing works in my life.
5. I am able to work, live, and be myself successfully because I am not bogged down by false unrealistic expectations.

There are still moments where I want to crawl in a hole and hide, but when those moments happen I am able to remind myself of the freedom I know live in. I am becoming quicker to apologize to Mark for snapping at him because I was embarrassed at something that happened. Instead of hiding from a situation I’m ready to tackle it head on and do it laughing!