Looking at the past and looking to the future
When Mark was diagnosed with Lyme disease it tipped my world upside down. I felt I had been pushed out of the nest too early. My mission was to homeschool our kiddos. As a family, we felt every inch of the transition and we all hated it. As the new year approaches, I find myself looking back and looking forward at the same time. In many ways, we are in a much better place and at the same time, we still have so much farther to go.
A different place
This time last year we were desperately trying to find a bank to give us a loan for our house. We had approached as many entities as possible. There wasn’t a stone we hadn’t unturned. No one would give us a loan. Then one day Home Federal popped into my head. I graduated high school with the president of the bank. My first thought was, “what is he going to tell me that others haven’t already”. I was desperate and sent him an email. I laid all of our cards out on the table. I didn’t sugar coat anything. I told him all of the hiccups that prevented other mortgage lenders from lending to us.
He looked over my email and connected me with Trevor. He looked over all of our information. One day while at work he gave me a call and told me it looked like we were a go-to be preapproved. My first response was, “are you serious”. Two weeks before our contract for deed ended on our house we signed the papers for homeownership.
This year instead of praying we could stay in our home, we are planning to paint the walls, pull up the carpet, and other home renovations. When we were merely renters I had, hanging picture phobia. Every time we hung pictures, we moved. I was tired of moving. While I was at work one day, Mark hung pictures in the house. When I came home I panicked and started crying, because I did not want to move. We have moved eleven times in fourteen years and I am weary of the moving process.
Blessing in trial
One of the things that helped us seal the deal on purchasing our house is my full-time job at the hotel. My job has helped us survive, pay our bills, and it has helped us remain in our home. It is a huge sacrifice for our family. I know many moms work outside the home. I realize this is most people’s norm on purpose, but it wasn’t mine, it wasn’t our choice. It has been a three-year process for me to get to a place of enjoyment in my position.
RCV Web Services has continued to not only have a pulse but seems to be turning into a full-fledged company. It is exciting and a bit scary all at the same time. It is a blessing in that it allows Mark to work from home. We are continuing to pray through the pruning process and trusting the Lord for direction and wisdom in the best ways to grow.
Lesson in the trial
It has been painful, but it has been a wonderful vision for our kids of what it looks like to do what needs to be done. It has been a ‘watch me, now you do it’ lesson. It wasn’t the way we would have chosen to teach this lesson, but it is the method given to us.
My prayer as we continue to rise is to give a hand up to those around us. To pull others to a different position than they were in. To give encouragement to other couples in figuring out how to allow each other to gift the world with each other’s skills, talents, and passions.
I don’t want to forget from whence we came. I have a tendency to run from the hardship I have come through. I need a staff debriefing meeting to determine the lessons. A meeting neither condemning or shaming, but one to see where I need to ask for forgiveness if need be and to see the moments I was able to successfully navigate through. As well as to see the lessons I haven’t completed and need to continue to work on.
Baby steps in the dark
We continue to move forward one baby step at a time. If you are in the midst of hell. It’s dark and you have no idea where the ending is I want to encourage you to keep taking one baby step at a time until you gain traction and direction. I’m praying for you and know you have what it takes to keep going.