My family is not unaccustomed to trials and tribulations. Many times what we thought was hell on earth, was in fact, refining fire. A heat meant to draw us closer to God the father. It is usually not pleasant. It is laden with fear and requires a moment-by-moment, day by day close walking with Jesus our Savior.
We find ourselves walking another uncertain road as Mark was let go from his job yesterday. It makes me chuckle and takes my breath away at the same time. My heart hurts for him. He has battled lyme disease throughout our whole marriage and affects every aspect of his life. He has had so much taken from him over the course of his life. And I find myself asking why, without actually needing an answer. Because I have learned after walking so many rocky paths, I don’t need a why. I need to stand confidently on the rock of my salvation, the author of my faith, Jesus Christ. I need to keep my eyes on him so we can walk on water, walk through parted waters, and have self-control so I don’t whack the rock that won’t give us water (check out Moses’s grand adventures in the desert for this one).
Here we go again…
I am afraid my head will get dunked under the stressful waves again. Will I disappear from my family and friends again? We have poured our resources into Mark’s career. How will I find a job if I need? I love being at home supporting Mark and guiding the kids. I find myself screaming, I’m not equipped for this!
I don’t know what’s next. I have no idea if I’m equipped for it or not. But, I’m either equipped and I don’t know it or I’m about to have a learning curve. Phew! Ok, Lord, lets do this. These words are terrifying because I know my Savior can and does ask scary things of me.
But! He did not lead me into this season unprepared.
About a month ago he gave me Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer”. He was already putting my oxygen mask on and asking me to focus and draw near to him. Gosh, I love my savior!
The beginning of this week he brought to mind Ephesians 6:10-12. I just didn’t know it would apply so quickly. It says, “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
In other words, know which battle you are in.
Know which enemy you are truly fighting. See those around me as Jesus sees them. My strength doesn’t come in my power, it comes from the Lord and in HIS mighty power. I am to “put on ” (a verb – calling me to an action). My armor isn’t to slice and dice the people around me, my armor is so I can see past their behavior, and see them as beloved creations of my creator. This armor isn’t for how we traditionally know battle armor on Earth. This armor is Holy Spirit given, it gives us the ability to be in the world but not of the world. It allows us to sit at the table with sinners, chat respectfully and build relationships with people different than us. Jesus came to save sinners, he came to save the weak, the broken, the sick. He came for the ones who think they have it all together and don’t need anything. The ones who look like they walked off of Lemon8 and Instagram. The ones who don’t acknowledge to themselves they’re broken.
Ephesians 6:13-20 says, “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
Verse 13-20 Paul gives us a walk through the gospel. Let me break it down for us.
This is my prayer in this season as Paul prayed in Ephesians 6:19-20 and asked the saints to pray with him. “Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.”
I don’t know what the Lord will ask of us in this season. There are already things he’s asking us to give up. How I walk this will influence how Mark and the kids walk it. Family and friends have already surrounded us. I am reminded of the vision God gave me when Mark was first diagnosed with Lyme disease. We were in the middle of a circle, with a circle of our friends facing us – praying for us, encouraging us, walking alongside us. Another circle of friends was facing away from us, shielding us and protecting us. What a beautiful picture.
In our journeys we have met beautiful people we would not have met any other way. We have sat at the tables of those different from us and have been enriched with the friendships we have gained.
We enter this next season waiting for the outpouring of daily manna from God, while we wait for whichever job comes next. “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:34.